ON RETIREMENT

I've been retired now for eight years but remember that in 2004 I was worried about whether I had saved enough and invested enough to make it into "old age," which, by the way, keeps leaping about ten years beyond where I am at any given moment. It turned out that I had no financial worries and needed instead to concern myself with how I would spend my time in the most productive and entertaining ways. My alarm clock became a physical anachronism whose digital dial began to glow on my night table in a much friendlier way than it had during all those years that I had to get up at five every weekday morning.

The hobbies of painting in oils, playing piano, reading, cooking, gardening, and travel were all wonderful ways to pass time in meaningful ways, but it has been writing that has given me the most pleasure and pride over those eight years. One of the greatest fears that people have is that they will not be able to fill all that "free time" in fulfilling ways, but I believe if there's a secret to having a good retirement, it may be to try new things, have creative outlets, and simply not to worry about not doing what others think is necessary in being "free." Nobody said that you have to win a Nobel Prize, climb Mount Everest, or save a third-world country by yourself. It's really about following your heart and not being afraid to take a different path once in a while.  Make new friends, and nurture your old friendships.

Being a responsible citizen in terms of going to a traditional job for eight to ten hours a day for forty years is wonderful, but retirement changes that ethos by allowing more choices and liberty to make your life mean whatever you want it to mean on a daily basis. You aren't locked into anything. Hedonism becomes only one of many possibilities after retirement, and no guilt should weigh you down, even for a moment about all those doors you want to open. One of my favorite anonymous quotations is, "Life is filled with doors we haven't opened, and rooms we can't go back to." Have no regrets.

I'm not sure that anyone has captured in a more amusing or meaningful way the significance of retirement than the poet, David Wright, whose poem for his friend on this topic I'd like to share:

Lines on Retirement, after Reading Lear

by David Wright
for Richard Pacholski


Avoid storms. And retirement parties.

You can’t trust the sweetnesses your friends will

offer, when they really want your office,

which they’ll redecorate. Beware the still

untested pension plan. Keep your keys. Ask

for more troops than you think you’ll need. Listen

more to fools and less to colleagues. Love your

youngest child the most, regardless. Back to

storms: dress warm, take a friend, don’t eat the grass,

don’t stand near tall trees, and keep the yelling

down—the winds won’t listen, and no one will

see you in the dark. It’s too hard to hear

you over all the thunder. But you’re not

Lear, except that we can’t stop you from what

you’ve planned to do. In the end, no one leaves

the stage in character—we never see

the feather, the mirror held to our lips.

So don’t wait for skies to crack with sun. Feel

the storm’s sweet sting invade you to the skin,

the strange, sore comforts of the wind. Embrace

your children’s ragged praise and that of friends.

Go ahead, take it off, take it all off.

Run naked into tempests. Weave flowers

into your hair. Bellow at cataracts.

If you dare, scream at the gods. Babble as

if you thought words could save. Drink rain like cold

beer. So much better than making theories.

We’d all come with you, laughing, if we could.

You Tube Adaptations of Chapters from my First Two Books

My cousin Cathy Weber and her husband Felix did these video adaptations of chapters from my first two books.   Those two people are wickedly talented. 

Have a look at the results:

1. YouTube promo....My First Crush ...from ALL MY LAZY RIVERS, an Indiana Childhood

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itzqxJxM9-E

 

 

 

2. YouTube promo.....Twisted Easter Book or Revenge of the Baskets...from ALL MY LAZY RIVERS    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S31W0tU0mPs

3. from COME ON, FLUFFY, THIS AIN'T NO BALLET, a Novel on Coming of Age


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG-X8b2z0o8&feature=relmfu

4. And finally, from Chapter 5 of COME ON, FLUFFY:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls6p8etKGG4&feature=relmfu

JB

Local Literary Allusions

Morning Duds

Yesterday morning while taking my West Highland White Terrier Dudley for his morning walk through our neighborhood, an electric garage door opened, followed by a car pulling into the garage as my neighbor waved to me. After I waved back and her garage door began to close, Duds and I continued around the circular sidewalk of the cul-de-sac only to be surprised again, this time by a man’s voice yelling, “Stella! Stella! Get back here, Stella!” The sound of his voice took me back to A STREET CAR NAMED DESIRE and Stanley Kowalski’s insistent utterance that his wife should come to him. Instead, this was the husband of the woman who had pulled into their garage. He was shouting at their miniature black poodle, who was en route to meet my Dudley, her long ebony ears flying behind her, in the most romantic way, like something out of the movie, LOVE STORY, and when she reached us, she and Duds nuzzled each other in a sweet little reunion as though they had been separated for years.

Stella!

Meanwhile, my neighbor reached us with abject apologies for Stella’s undignified and miscreant behavior. Relieved that he had arrived before what could have been an “interracial” incident, I chatted briefly with him as he swept up Stella in his arms and walked away. The look on Dudley’s face was one of sadness at having been separated yet again from Stella, whose little face looked over the shoulder of her departing master at Duds as if to say, “Don’t worry, I’ll get out the door again the first chance I get. Meet me at the corner tomorrow morning at seven.”

That’s why our otherwise quiet neighborhood can sound like a Tennessee Williams stage production at odd hours, when we hear a man’s voice crying, “Stella! Stella!” However, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

EXCERPT FROM A BOOK IN PROGRESS

This is a sample from Chapter 30 of my new book, COME SEPTEMBER, the Journey of a High School Teacher. Some of the book is very serious, and some is humorous. Occasionally the two moods simply merge through satire.  You may take this commentary from Chapter 30 for whatever it's worth, but I hope you'll enjoy it and laugh.  JB

Chapter 30 Blame It on Count Chocula

By the 1990’s, whining had become one of America’s chief pastimes. Even while grocery shopping, I was unceasingly annoyed by the more and more familiar sound of childish whimpering in places like the cereal aisle, where a kid would moan demands, like “Awww, Mommy, I want this cereal, pleeease!”

“No,” would come the first response. “Chocolate Rasberry Sugar Bombs are not good for you.”

“Awwww, that’s not fair, Mommy!” was often the comeback, which would usually only prolong the debate until the mother would at last give in by saying, “Oh, all right, but only for small portions. I don’t want to pay for any dental implants until you’re at least twelve.”

These collective grocery store experiences became, over time, the basis of my theory that many of our social ills can be traced back to the cereal aisles of grocery stores across the country, among all those hundreds of brands of tooth-rotting breakfast fare, with colorful and humorous logos on the boxes, reinforced on Saturday morning television commercials, mesmerizing children into believing that all that sugar was as vital as the air they breathed.

Finally, it was almost as though these children from all across America had banded together at secret meeting sites, when their parents thought their kids were really playing on monkey bars, riding their bikes, or skate boarding. This facade covered the fact that the kids were actually meeting to share their new national message of, “WHINING WORKS!” Playgrounds everywhere became convention centers to spread the word that, not only could grocery store griping and sniveling bring results, but such intense complaining could also bring rewards in other sectors of society. Thus, whining made its way into public schools, where its effect on scholastic standards may still be seen in the demands placed upon classes of our public schools, which I believe sometime during the past twenty years managed to merge with the entertainment industry.

Another result of this huge bellyaching business has been that certain teachers across the land have banded together in a counter-movement, the crux of which is that homework requirements should remain stringent, and that all teachers for all grades in public schools must join together in building a mass immunity to the lamentations of those students, who have honed complaining down to an art form, which has seeped into factories, courthouses, the auto and garment industries, food production, and to every other conveyor belt, literal and figurative, that produces shoddiness as its chief product, rather than standing up to the laziness of moaning shirkers of duty in living up to higher, albeit more difficult, expectation.

The more I encountered the tired old phrase from my students of “That’s not fair,” the more I became resolved to live up to a teacher headline I longed to see on the front pages of newspapers across the country, TEACHERS FIGHT BACK WITH MASS WHINING OF THEIR OWN! Of course, that story never actually hit the news stands, but its significance became my focus in the attempt to help squelch the national whining fest, that had already been going on for years.

I began practicing an irritatingly nasal tone of voice in my use of important whining terminology as in, “Awww, you guys can read all twenty pages in one night. Breaking them up into little baby assignments would just be silly, and that’s not fair!” If students persisted, I would plug my ears with my forefingers and walk around the classroom singing, “Alouette.” After a while, perhaps to avoid the torture of my increasingly professional whining skills, they stopped arguing and just did the assignments. This technique was far more successful than my earlier one, which was doubling an assignment (with an attempted straight face) and then cutting it in half to make it seem they were getting away with something. That method was not only devious, but my acting was never quite good enough to pull it off, because apparently, despite my best efforts, there always remained the hint of a smirk on my face and just enough inauthenticity in my voice, that even the slowest kid in the class was on to me.

So, the next time you want to know what’s wrong with America, in terms of our shrinking standards of quality, go to your nearest super market, get a shopping cart, and mosey on over to the cereal aisle, that wonderland of sugar-impregnated breakfast vittles with about as much nutritional value as bubblegum, and observe the children there and the interaction with their parents, the outcome of which will almost assuredly be a mother caving in to her child’s demand for a marshmallow cereal with soda pop overtones, in order to avoid the screeching, high-pitched and embarrassing hint of abuse that might carry over into the soup and condiments aisle. This, dear friends, is really the source of all irrational and unmerited sense of entitlement in our country, the only remedy to which may be a good dose of homework. If all else fails, then just blame everything on Count Chocula and that awful sugar rush our kids have come to require.

FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD!

 These recipes came originally from Laura Calder, a French chef, who delights in the joys of French food, especially from country recipes. She can be seen on the Food Channel on FRENCH FOOD AT HOME. Her style is at once splendid and comfortable. Included here are two photos of the results of my partner Jim's having prepared the dishes. He added the mushrooms to the original recipe for the tart . JB

Savoury Swiss Chard Tart

6- 8 servings
Ingredients:
1 tabelspoon oil
2 shallots, minced
1 clove garlic, minced
4 ounces bacon cut into lardons (very small strips)
1 and 1/2 pounds Swiss Chard, ribs removed
i cup chopped mushrooms ( Shitake or Portabello)
3 eggs
1 cup creme fraiche or heavy cream and sour cream combined
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
4 ounces of Gruyere or smoked cheddar, grated
Handful raisins
Handful toasted pine nuts
1 deep tart shell, pre-baked in a 9-inch springform pan..or a frozen deep dish pie dough, thawed

Directions
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Heat the oil in a saute pan and fry the shallots until soft and translucent. Ad the garlic and saute for one minute more. Remove to a plate. In the same pan, fry the bacon until the fat has rendered and the lardons are crispy. Remove to the plate with shallots. Divide the chard leaves from the ribs. Chop the ribs quite small and shred the leaves. First fry the ribs in bacon fat until tender. Then add chard leaves to pan, cover and wilt for three minutes.
Beat the eggs with the creme fraiche, and season with salt and pepper.
In a large bowl, toss the shallots, bacon, chard stems and leaves, cheese, raisins, and pine nuts, to combine evenly. Taste, and season. Fill the tart shell with the vegetable mixture, and pour the cream mixture over this. Bake until the tart has set, about 30 minutes. Remove the tart from oven, and cool. Serve at room temperature.

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Slow-Baked Honey Wine Pears

4-8 servings
Ingerdients:
4 Bosc pears or eight Anjou pears
1 bottle dry red wine
1/2 cup honey

Directions:
Preheat oven to 250 degrees F.
Peel the pears from top to bottom, leaving the stem intact, and lay them in an oven-proof dish just large enough to hold them. Bring the wine and honey to a boil, cover the pears with the liquid, and transfer to the oven. Bake until tender, 4 to 5 hours, turning now and again to create even color.
Gently remove the pears to a serving bowl with a slotted spoon. Boil the liquid rapidly until reduced to syrup, about 20 minutes. Pour the syrup over the pears and reserve at room temperature for several hours, or cover and refrigerate until about an hour before serving.
Option: Serve with dollop of whipped cream sweetened with a little sugar and a dash of Cognac